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Sunday, December 18, 2011

life continued.....

I'm pretty sure I mentioned in one of my last entries that my boyfriend was going away for a week and did it turn out to be an eventful one. three of my friends have been released from jail lately and when they all surface at once, it gets a bit chaotic. Plus there's really good meth around at the moment so I been a bit busy rattling and scattering and getting the things done which usually takes a good dosing to have the motivation for. i.e.. sorting the mountains of clothes and toys, gardening, etc. I don’t have many friends I’d class as trustworthy. I don’t tell my secrets to anyone and I don’t get burnt like I used to, or I tell outrageous stories just to see how long it takes to get told back to me. I find it amusing, at least I know who to not trust ever again. Its weird getting used to sleeping in the same bed as someone else and not having as much “thought processing alone time”. On the up side I been going to sleep earlier and for longer and I'm getting plenty of sexercise so I feel more sane. I've got about 4 months to go till I hit my 30th birthday. My tweaked existence will hopefully transition into a straight everyday member of the community one. lol. It still makes me smile thinking about being one of them people who I avoid with a passion. wish me luck. xo Lilly

5 comments:

Furtheron said...

hello - bumped into your blog...

there is life after addiction and yes funny how now I'm one of those I used to avoid in some ways... in others I'm still as mad and don't understand "the normals" at all at times.

Have a good holiday time... it'll be summer where you are won't it... never can get this different seasons at the same time thing

Susie said...

I was wondering how old you were. We're about the same age, well almost. I'm 31. But an immature 31! I was hoping to be completely clean by this time, and am not. But i hope you do make it. I find it so interesting how drugs are so regional. The only people I know in MA who do meth are gay guys.

Interesting how people go to jail and come out and make thinks chaotic. I'm hoping my BF's cousin goes to jail this week. There's a good chance since he has 3 court dates on 3 different charges. He makes my life so much more difficult when he's around. I know that sounds harsh but it's so much easier to not have to deal with other addicts.

Gledwood said...

O man if I tweaked I know I'd go psychotic. I know I would. Even on crack I once believed people were climbing the walls of the house to get me. Then another time I heard voices outside my door saying I had £2000 hidden in my shoe, which was a lie as I only had £200 there. Obviously the money was for more crack/heroin and I'd already had more than enough by this point ~ not going to bed at all for a week. Anyway I just dropped by to say your blog's great. You asked for advice: get a picture to go by your name when you comment. I got mine off the internet so you don't need to be a digital wizz or anything....


ps I've never heard of that champix stuff I've tried zyban it makes the fags taste of burning old tyres!

My life unspoken said...

Furtheron.....happy holidays to you too, we usually get 35 to 40 degree C. temps over xmas and newyears so it'll be a good bbq and beer day.

Susie......i'm currently 29 and hope to be clean by the time i'm 30. i'm optimistic. i agree with the feelings your having about ur bf's cousin. in australia our jails have a methadone and bupe program so it doesnt seem to help addicts plus there are huge amounts of drugs in our jails too.

Gledwood..... thanks mate for ur encouragement. one question..why every time i enter ur blog it tells me malaware detected. dont worry i just click continue anyway.

merry xmas and hapy new years to all my readers. cant wait till its over and done with.
xo Lilly

Katie B said...

Thanks for joining my blog lilly, so pleased you are my number two.