i'm actually writing this blog post on the 29th february. having issues with my internet and computer lately so ill upload it once i connect to the net. also im using notepad to write it so please ignore any of my usual spelling and grammar mistakes, also capital letters caus unfortunately i dont have a spell checker on here. actually scrap that last apology caus honestly i dont give a fuk who is or isnt happy with my spelling and grammer. if you dont want to read it as it pops into my scrambled brain then dont read it at all.
as today is a leap year im writing this on the date which is a 1 in 4 year occasion and lucky it exists this year especially caus in exactly 2 months to the day i turn 30 years old. dirty thirties is the usual for this decade of life but for me it is my goal (still) to be my clean thirties. i didnt actually even realise when starting my blog which those of you know i started counting down to my clean date, that i would have to alter the dirty to clean.
2 months to go... i try not to think about the clock ticking away. i have definitely cut down my gear usage of late but am still tweaked on average 4 or 5 days out of 7. usually if im not 'ON' ill be asleep or keeping a straight frame of mind to get the overly important things in life completed. not my usual approach to projects which start, stop, start, stop, maybe cease to exist and maybe get completed. the latter is obviously the most uncommon or bullshit scattered ideas becomming reality.
so from monday just passed im going to record and post my daily use and cost and give the quality a rating to help me when the 2 months runs out and i need a little hard evidence of wat im wasting and for what kind of high. so here we go......
monday 27th february - $100 approx 1.5 points - decent smoke but not decent enough to try hitting a wack.
tuesday 28th february - $50 over a point - killer smoke at mates rates so did the job.
wednesday 29th february - $300 for 4 points - shared between 3 people but killer smoke anyway.
ill continue to update the tally as the week passes by and ends, or blurs into the next.... both are possible. take care all
xo lilly
HI IM LILLY, WELCOME TO THE LIFE I HAVE, THE ENDLESS DRAMA, COPS, RATS, DOGS, ADDICTS, THIEFS AND THE LOWEST OF SOCIETY. WHERE DO I FIT??? I BEEN USING METH FOR 14 YEARS, IM A CONVICTED DRUG MANUFACTURER, A SINGLE MOTHER TO A CHILD IN PRIVATE EDUCATION, AND NOBODY KNOWS!! ITS MY DOUBLE LIFE AND ITS GONNA STAY THAT WAY. XOXO Lilly.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
2 months and counting......counting down i mean!!
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6 comments:
Good luck! I love reading what everyone else spends so i can measure my own illicit spending. I tried to write down what I was spending, but like your former projects, I totally forgot/stopped/didn't do it. I'm only 31 but hate the fact that I still use. it's so "not cool" anymore. I'm not the 16 YO rebel I used to be. Thanks for posting.
Holy shit,...I'm a mom of an addict & not by any means naive,..but wow, $450 in 3 days ? Are you rich ? I'm doubting that ,..so how does one do that ?,...financially,..just wondering. I have 2 incomes.....could spend $, but couldn't imagine spending that. But then again,,,that's addiction. Thank you for you candidness.
Holy shit,...I'm a mom of an addict & not by any means naive,..but wow, $450 in 3 days ? Are you rich ? I'm doubting that ,..so how does one do that ?,...financially,..just wondering. I have 2 incomes.....could spend $, but couldn't imagine spending that. But then again,,,that's addiction. Thank you for you candidness.
Hi Lily.
I used to write the money spent and number of lines smoked down thinking it might help . . . My drugs worker told me that made me a "professional user" . . . Whatever that is.
If you really want to do it for your 30th you can. But sometimes giving ourselves deadlines puts a bit too much pressure on.
The days you don't use . . . is that out of choice or because you can't (for whatever reason)
maybe you could reduce to twice a week for the next month then once a week?
i know its all easy said but discipline and drugs are not usually best buddies :-)
Hope it goes well Lily and that you're feeling a bit better after your sad news.
Take care x
I'm about to hit 40 in not very long at all. You're still very young to have done all you've done.
You can't even get crystal meth in this country. I know a couple of people who've tried it once, but I've never heard of any person who has a connexion for it... If I were a drug producer I think I'd produce that stuff purely because there's a huge gap in the market for it. Loads of aimless young people who don't want heroin or crack but would be willing to give speed a go and wahey! I heard it was very addictive... is that true?
Also have you ever tried crack and if so how do the 2 drugs compare? I heard you don't really get the flash you get from smoking or IVing cocaine from crystal... I've injected ordinary amphetamine sulphate (at least I assume that's what it was) and there was nothing like the rush you get from coke. I just felt like I was suddenly speeding, that's all.
Hope you're OK. Take care ;-)
I'm about to hit 40 in not very long at all. You're still very young to have done all you've done.
You can't even get crystal meth in this country. I know a couple of people who've tried it once, but I've never heard of any person who has a connexion for it... If I were a drug producer I think I'd produce that stuff purely because there's a huge gap in the market for it. Loads of aimless young people who don't want heroin or crack but would be willing to give speed a go and wahey! I heard it was very addictive... is that true?
Also have you ever tried crack and if so how do the 2 drugs compare? I heard you don't really get the flash you get from smoking or IVing cocaine from crystal... I've injected ordinary amphetamine sulphate (at least I assume that's what it was) and there was nothing like the rush you get from coke. I just felt like I was suddenly speeding, that's all.
Hope you're OK. Take care ;-)
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