Tuesday, July 10, 2012

'testing my weakness'

so here we go. nice little turn of events. sorry i havent been around again...had to take my kid interstate to see his dad and i been relly sick. i was throwing up everyday and was that sick i didnt even drink much.  so anyways heres the bonus 'im stronger than i realised' moment of the week. my ex / kids dad is straightish. on my last night over there (last night) he ended up getting on the ice/meth/whateva they call it and i still managed to keep my shit together and not use any. funny how he has always bagged me for using then turns around and basically throws it in my face testing me. but i held out and managed to not give in. lucky i was sick and at a weaker health point where i could just sleep and not mull it over in my head too much. anyway i got blogs to catch up on. i will definately post a longer blog soon. sorry to all my loyal readers i been very slack and very boring lately. love u all, xo lilly.


bugerlugs63 said...

Hey Lily nice to hear from you . . sometimes boring is good.
You've done really well, especially when other folk are using in front of you.
It's strange how some users don't like to see other people saying no to drugs isn't it. Well sod 'em Lily you stick to it.
I hope you're feeling less sick and I look forward to your next post. Take good care and well done x x x x

Furtheron said...

Whatever the situation, whatever the test, however you were feeling - you didn't use. That is strength, keep hold of that...

Proud and pleased for you

karl said...

Well done Lilly that's fucking excellent !
If somebody cooked up in front of me at the moment I would have to leave. x

xo lilly (my life unspoken) said...

bugerlugs...im trying to see boring as good...but itss still so boring. im no longer tired or sick...just bored and trying to keep my mind busy. xo lilly
furtheron....thanks mate. i need all the encouragement i can get. ive come to realise even dissapointing my followers keeps me from going back to it. its like as soon as its in print u have a reason and an extra incentive to make others proud of u too. thanks mate. o lilly
karl...thanks mate its a struggle and it really tests me but i gotta try hey. i wasnt happy before and i thinnk im finally starting to get happy. im still abit erratic with my feelings but hopefully it will start to level out more soon. its funny how high my highs are and how low the lows are without using. its definately a rollercoaster ride. xo lilly